22. Day one of the residential course ~ 17th July

The course started yesterday so I sadly missed the first day. I was hoping there would be someone close to my age, on the course but when I opened the door I must admit that I was disappointed. The person closest in age to me was 20 years my senior, but the majority of people were in their seventies.

We started the day discussing 'practical communication'. We talked about problems with some loop systems. My very basic description of a loop is: most modern hearing aids have a button which you can change to go on a 'loop' programme. In places such as some theatres, some banks (usually only at the desk), some post offices (usually just at the counter), some supermarkets (only at where you pay), some churches/cathedrals etc they have a machine called a loop which enables those with hearing aids to wirelessly connect to their machine and supposedly make it easier for the hearing aid user to hear. You may have noticed that I used the word "supposedly", which is because I've often found that it has made no or little difference. My audiologist explained that this is usually because of three things: either the 'building' have not turned their system on, they have not set-up the system correctly, or it is a very cheap system which they have bought! We were taught that if we make an appointment at somewhere such as a bank, we can request that they provide a note-taker which they should pay for.

I told them about my recent incident whilst visiting the dentist. I was told that in the future I should ask the nurse (who is always present during the appointment) to look at me and repeat everything the dentist has said during the appointment. What an obvious thing to do but I had never thought of doing it. It was great to get tips off other people who had 'been there, done that, got the T-shirt'.

The session over ran so we weren't able to do the last bit of the morning. It was a shame as I am frequently told I am talking too quietly which is because my Dad has shouted since he started to lose his hearing and I have been so determined to not do the same that I have ended up doing the opposite. When you lose your hearing, you have no idea of what volume you are talking at.

After lunch we had an introduction to sign language and also finger spelling which was fun. I found that when lipreading it can be really helpful when someone finger spells the first letter of a difficult word.

Copied with kind permission by BSL Communication (www.bslcommunication.com)

This wasn't discussed on the course but do you know how many versions of finger spelling there are? According to the website 'Ethnologue' (http://www.ethnologue.com/subgroups/deaf-sign-language) there are a total of 130 types of finger spelling alphabets eg British Sign Language, American Sign Language, Australian Sign Language, Kenyan Sign Language etc. I have also read  that there are several thousand versions throughout the world. Whatever the exact figure, you can see that there are a lot. Unfortunately it is not a universal language which makes communication even harder for a deaf person whilst they are travelling.

Having had afternoon tea (which was always yummy!) we had a 'relaxation technique' session which if I'm honest I didn't enjoy. I love relaxation (who doesn't?), however in the past I have been taught far more effective and more advanced techniques. Rather than relaxing, I kept thinking about all the other things I would like to do or should be doing instead (like a nice swim in the hotel pool, writing to you on my blog, catching up on e.mails etc). I also found it hard not to laugh as I heard a few snores from fellow pupils! However it seemed a very successful event for most people and had the desired effect intended which was good.  

After all that learning I had a good nights sleep!

21. My listening feet ~ 14th June

At this very moment, I am sitting outside at a huge outdoor concert with an audience of 6000. There are some famous singers and a well known orchestra........... What a noise! However whilst all of the audience have smiles on their faces, I want to stick my fingers in my ears. 

Try turning your television to the loudest volume it will go to and listen to how distorted it sounds. Now also turn the volume up as loud as it will go on your radio and change the channel between one programme and another until you hear really loud crackling noises. Probably a better description is when you listen to music coming through massive speakers (ie at parties, concerts etc) when there is a sudden deafening, screeching noise. The sound is painful in my ear. For a second I wish I am completely deaf in both ears but then realise what I have just thought and immediately tell myself off. 

Although some of the performers are clearer than others, I've decided to take my hearing aids out. I can't hear a lot of the music now despite being fairly near the front, but I am relieved to not have the pain in my ear anymore. I am reminded of when I went to Mamma Mia a few weeks ago when I felt the vibrations of the music through the floor. Here the music is obviously loud as I can feel the strong vibrations go up my entire body. Unfortunately the difference is that I know Abba music far better than I do Aled Jones (unless he had sung "The Snowman", which he surprisingly didn't!) for example, which does help!

As you can tell, I've given up. I've got my phone out and I am writing this post for my blog.

Later in the evening, everyone starts waving their Union Jack flags (given out at the start of the evening). I realise what is being sung and quickly pick up the vibrations of "Rule Britannia" through my feet. I immediately put my hearing aids back on. I immerse myself back into the concert. Just as the orchestra stops playing, my feet reveal the "Sailor's Hornpipe", a favourite of mine which always makes me smile. 

When I was at school I was told that when writing a story, the beginning, middle and end are always the most important parts. Thankfully this evening has been that way too.

20. My Hearing Aids Complaint List ~ 9th June

I've been back to the audiologist for my post two week hearing aid appointment (actually it's been three weeks, oh well!). I went in with my little list:

• Hearing aids are falling out
• The main bit that goes behind my ears falls off when I put my sunglasses on
• I can't hear music without it screeching inside my ears
• I can't hear the other person on the end of the phone (only yesterday I phoned a friend at her work place about a business matter and as soon as she answered the phone I had to pass the phone to someone else to talk to her. If it hadn't been my friend, I would have been very embarrassed)

I was told that other than having thinner arms on my sunglasses, there's nothing else I can do. He altered the sensitivity on my hearing aids. For some of the queries he said he'd ask a colleague for further advice. I had new moulds taken of my ears (as shown below) and this time he put the horrible gunky paste deeper inside my ear so that when they are made they will be more of a snug fitting when I wear them (and hopefully not fall out anymore).

Again I left without a magical cure. I'm to go back in a couple of weeks.

19. Standing Up To The Lying Nurse ~ 27th May

I was admitted into hospital a few days ago and during the night I pressed the bell to ask the nurse for some more pain relief. The senior nurse came into my room and before I had the chance to ask her for the medication she started shouting at me.

Nurse: "Why haven't you had your medicines I left on the table?"

Me: "I didn't know they were there"

Nurse: "I told you they were there"

Me: "I know you are aware that I'm deaf, so did you make sure that I heard you?"

Nurse: "Oh er, actually I put them in your hand"

As her story started to change, I smiled and sarcastically nodded my head. With that she stormed out of the room. I had a long wait until she finally came back with my medicine and guess what? Probably with the fear of repercussions for her job, she couldn't have been any nicer to me.

18. An amazing upbeat day ~ 2nd June

It was my sisters final recital for her music degree today. I was really, really touched as on the back of the programme it said "dedicated to my amazing sister". Alright, the word 'amazing' wasn't printed but I'm sure that's what she meant to say! Why did those four words mean so much to me? I would have been honoured anyway as she could have dedicated it to another family member, a friend or not dedicated it to anyone for that matter. It was the fact that my hearing is so poor and what ever happens in the future, I will always remember that she has given me those sounds and joy. That is the biggest gift she could give me right now. As well as that she was fantastic and I am so proud of her.

Later, someone who I have never met before approached me and said they had been following my blog and how "inspirational" it is. During a difficult period of their life, writing a blog helped them focus on something positive and they couldn't have got through that dreadful period of their life without it. They said that they hoped it would help me in the same way. They ended the conversation by kindly saying two graciously used words "thank you". Again I was overcome.

17. Lipreading at the dentist ~ 9th June

Today I went to the dentist, a place which I am sure many of you dread like me. Due to getting myself apprehensive about the pneumatic digger they put in your mouth (it sounds like that anyway if I remember rightly!), I hadn't thought of anything else. When I was called into the room, I lay on the couch. I gazed up at the big, bright light above me which shone on my face. The dentist sat on his stool behind my head and started talking to me as he usually does. As you know, I am finding that learning to lip read is a big enough challenge, however trying to lipread someone who's face is above mine and looking at me the wrong way around, is virtually impossible. If that weren't hard enough, he then covered his mouth with his mask! He put a big thing in my mouth and then he and the nurse left the room. I suddenly realised that I was right in the middle of them taking an x-ray of my teeth, but thanks to my dud ears and my poor lipreading I had never heard them ask me . 

I lay in silence for the rest of the appointment, goodness knows what he was telling me through his green mask; it could have been about a new dental device or even him bungee jumping off the moon for all I know!

Thankfully I managed to avoid all forms of pneumatic drills and diggers!

16. A problem shared is a problem halved ~ 29th May

I was meant to be seeing a wonderful person today whom I am very lucky to have as a close friend. I have unexpectedly been taken in to hospital which sadly means I have had to cancel my day in London with her today.

Miranda and I met in the strangest of situations - we were both inpatients in a hospital and both extremely unwell . From the moment I met her it was as though we had been friends for life. When we do get the chance to see each other there are two things that she and I are very talented at; talking non stop and giggling! Unfortunately I don't get to see her very often, mostly thanks to her huge social diary (as everyone wants to see Miranda!) and also the little thing called studying/work! She has a heart of gold and voluntarily gives up a lot of her free time to assist Ruby Wax, particularly in her work to raise awareness and battle the stigma of mental health. We've supported each other through some difficult times and Miranda has been a huge support to me with my hearing.

Since losing my hearing, she hasn't treated me any differently. She sent me links of websites she knew I would find useful, she helped answer some of technical questions about creating a blog and she also helped promote my blog on her social networking sites when I started it. There was never any awkwardness between us as I had feared.

Miranda also writes a blog. Have a look at her blog (but remember to return to mine afterwards!) http://www.mirandabunting.com

Finally my advice to you? Everyone needs a friend called Miranda.

*Update* she has just finished university and she has passed her degree in nutrition and has achieved fantastic grades. I'm so proud of her.

15. Have you ever named a hearing aid? ~ 25th May

I've decided that I don't want to call my hearing aids 'hearing aids' anymore! What a boring name! I've already achieved the non 'Bridget Jones knickers' look, so maybe I should call them 'Mark Darcy' and 'Daniel Cleaver' - perhaps a little sticker of them should go on both my hearing aids! ...I think 'Ben and Jerry' sounds quite yummy too!

What do you think? Please contact me with other name suggestions for my hearing aids.

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When a deaf person goes to court, do they still call it a 'Hearing'?

14. Does the camera ever lie?! ~ 23rd May

I'm famous, well sort of!! The Surrey Advertiser Newspaper have today printed the article about the hearing event I attended. I searched for the little paragraph and photograph of me, but it's not what I had expected. Instead, there was a big article about me along with a larger photograph than I had thought they would print. It felt as though I had stolen the article as only a few words were mentioned about the event. Of course my parents have bought about six copies (as parents do!).

13. A Tweak Here and A Tweak There ~ 21st May

The moral support came from Dad today, who took me back to the audiologist, to try and improve things with the hearing aids. However what's the point? It's never going to work, I can hear more without them. I had lost all hope that hearing aids would improve life for me and I was ready to take my frustration out on them with the help of a sledgehammer (seeing as I don't own a sledge hammer, driving my car over them would have to do)! Luckily a moment of sanity kicked in as I remembered the cost. Did you know that hearing aids can cost a few thousand pounds?...nor did I, but I do now!

The audiologist sat down at his computer and patiently started tweaking away at my hearing aids. There were a few times when he had to listen to them through a stethoscope (well, it looked like one!) but he couldn't put the ear bits of the stethoscope in his ears as the volume of my hearing aids would damage his ears. It was certainly a 'different' look having the stethoscope ear bits hanging from his cheeks (please don't get a complex Mr Audiologist!).

Everything, and I mean everything sounded so different. The sounds which I wanted to have amplified (such as voices) had either been made worse or had remained the same whilst the strangest of noises became unpleasant with some verging on unbearable. The best noise I can now hear are the birds singing again (I'm grinning from ear to ear!). The worst noise? - Toilet paper being pulled off the roll!!